What kind of game are we playing, and how do we choose to play it?
After a long break from everything, i have come back to fight for everything i desire – my life, my success and my legacy.
Let’s start with a little puzzle.
There are 10 birds sitting on a tree. Three decide to fly away. How many birds are left?
The answer is 10.
Why? Because deciding to fly doesn’t mean they actually flew.
Decision does not equal action.
Can we relate to that? 😄
i first came across this idea at a Tony Robbins seminar, and it made me realise something. We make decisions almost every day, but not every decision turns into action. Somewhere along the way, we might:
- Start having doubts
- Change our minds
- Lose motivation
- Become impatient when results don’t come quickly enough
- Simply give up
Knowing what we want is only the start. Eventually, we have to decide what we are going to do about it. And perhaps more importantly, what kind of participant do we want to be?
Players – The Doers
Players are the ones who take part in the game. They take action, chase opportunities, accept challenges and understand that failure is part of the process.
They don’t win all the time. In fact, they might lose more often than they win. But they keep trying, learning and improving. To them, success has a price, and one of those prices is failure.
Nobody wins forever. And nobody becomes competent without first being inexperienced.
As Michael Jordan once said:
“I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”
But being a Player doesn’t automatically make someone a good person. There are good Players and bad Players.
A good Player competes fairly, respects others, takes responsibility, and accepts the consequences of their decisions. A bad Player might manipulate, cheat, sabotage others or chase victory at any cost.
Winning doesn’t automatically make someone a good Player. And losing doesn’t automatically make someone a bad one.
Losers – The Spoilers
Let’s make something clear first. Being a Loser doesn’t simply mean losing a game. A person can lose and still be a good Player.
A good loser accepts defeat, learns from mistakes, respects the winner, and comes back stronger. A bad loser blames others, makes excuses, refuses to take responsibility, or even tries to pull others down.
We’ve probably met people like this in our workplaces, businesses and personal lives. Some would rather see others fail than work on improving themselves. They gain nothing from it, yet making others look worse somehow gives them a sense of satisfaction.
But here’s the thing. Losing is an outcome. Being a Loser is a choice in how we respond.
We can learn from our losses, or we can let them define us. And the person who loses today might very well be the winner tomorrow.
Spectators – The Watchers
Spectators watch the game instead of playing it.
There’s nothing wrong with that on its own. Watching others is a good way to learn. We can study their strategies, understand their mistakes and prepare ourselves before stepping in. We learn the mistakes of others, so that we minimize the chances of repeating the same mistakes.
But there’s a difference between watching to learn and watching because we’re afraid to join.
How often have we watched others take risks and achieve the things we’ve always wanted to do? We might tell ourselves:
- “What if i fail?”
- “What if things don’t work out?”
- “What would others think?”
But do we really know what would happen? Probably not. And we might never find out unless we try.
Think about some of the great achievements in history. What if Thomas Edison had quit after thousands of failed experiments? What if Colonel Sanders had stopped after being rejected more than a hundred times? What if the Wright brothers had decided that flying was simply too hard, since there were better-qualified and better-funded people in the field?
Now let’s flip it around. What if Jack Ma had been accepted to work at KFC? As he tells the story, he was the only one out of many applicants who got turned down. A comfortable job might have been enough for him, and Alibaba might never have existed.
Jim Collins put it well: “Good is the enemy of great.” Being good can keep us from chasing great. But the road to greatness isn’t a one-way climb. Along the way, we can slip below good and end up in hell 😅
We admire the results, but we rarely see the failures, sacrifices, and persistence behind them. Sometimes we become so focused on what could go wrong that we forget what could go right.
And while we’re busy watching, life keeps moving forward.
Winners – The Achievers?
So where are the Winners?
Well, they’re probably celebrating already! 🎉
But seriously, i deliberately didn’t list Winners as a separate category. Why? Because winning is an outcome, not a permanent identity.
A Player can win. A Player can lose. A Loser can turn things around. Even a Spectator can decide to join in and achieve something meaningful.
We can become many things with commitment, but we can’t be everything at once. Our time, energy, attention and resources are limited, just like our bodies and lifespans. Every decision is a choice about what deserves our resources and what doesn’t.
And winning doesn’t have to mean what everyone else calls success. A small victory to someone else could be a big milestone to us. It could be earning our first dollar from a business, overcoming a personal fear, finishing something we’ve put off for years, or simply becoming a better version of ourselves.
Winning on our own terms is what makes the victory meaningful. We don’t need everyone to understand it or celebrate it.
The Downhill Roll After the Peak
There’s another side of winning that we often overlook. What happens after we reach the peak?
We spend so much time thinking about how to climb up that we sometimes forget the journey doesn’t end there.
Think about these companies. Each one was a winner of its time:
- Yahoo was once a major internet destination, spending billions on buying websites.
- Kodak was synonymous with photography. They even invented the digital camera.
- Nokia was a dominant mobile phone maker. Around 2008, roughly 4 in every 10 phones sold worldwide were Nokias, more than double the share of the runner-up, Samsung. The iPhone had only just arrived.
- Blockbuster was a household name in video rentals. And the story goes that they could have bought Netflix on the cheap.
They sat in positions that many businesses can only dream of. But things changed. Technology evolved. Consumer preferences shifted. New competitors emerged. The market moved on.
Their stories remind us of something important: Being a winner today doesn’t guarantee we’ll remain one tomorrow.
And this isn’t just about businesses. We can experience the same thing in our careers, relationships, personal achievements, and everyday lives.
Success can bring complacency. We get comfortable with what we’ve achieved. We might start believing that what worked yesterday will keep working tomorrow.
That’s why we shouldn’t wait until we’re at the peak before thinking about what comes next. We should be preparing for the downhill while we’re still working our way up from the valley.
Not because we expect to fail, but because we understand that circumstances change.
Sometimes we need to adapt. Sometimes we need to learn something new. Sometimes we need to let go of what worked before and find a better way forward.
Reaching the peak is an achievement. Staying relevant requires another set of decisions.
The Game of Life
So, which one are we?
A Player? A Loser? A Spectator?
Perhaps the better question is: which one do we want to be?
We aren’t permanently assigned to any category.
- A Player today could become a Loser tomorrow because of the consequences of their actions.
- A Loser today could become a Player through consistent effort.
- A Spectator might decide to enter the game.
- And someone who has been winning might grow complacent and lose their position.
Our decisions, actions, and attitudes shape our experiences. But circumstances change, and so can we. What we decided in the past helped create our present. What we decide and do today will shape our future.
We might not always get the outcomes we want, and we can’t control every circumstance. But we can choose how we respond, what we learn, and how we move forward.
No one wins forever. No one loses forever.
There will be peaks and valleys, victories and defeats, good days and bad days. The important thing isn’t to stay on top forever. It’s to keep learning, adapting, and finding reasons to continue.
Sometimes we need to change our strategies. Sometimes we need to redefine what winning means. And sometimes we need to walk away from a game that no longer deserves our time and resources. That’s not necessarily giving up. It could simply be a better decision.
The game of life isn’t about winning every round. It’s about being able to keep playing.
So, what are we deciding to play today?
Are we moving towards our goal, or away from it?
P.S. Have you decided? And? 🐦